I had a meeting this morning that caused me a ton of anxiety. Not because it was a bad meeting, it was actually a really great meeting, but because it is pushing me towards an entirely different approach to a particular element of my life.
This scares the hell out of me. It's out of my comfort zone. It goes against all the negative stories I've told myself about this element for my whole life. I'm terrified that I'm going to screw it all up and totally fail (I probably won't).
I've got small baby steps, and actionable plan, and support and help to answer any questions or handle any fears and anxieties. But I'm still scared.
This afternoon I felt exhausted, brain-dead, and (surprise!) anxious. I think I'm having an anxiety hangover, which is causing more anxiety. After some food, some water, a walk with my dog, and a nap, I feel a little more human again. But I'm still worn out. Anxiety seems to nearly deplete my energy reserves. It's a vicious cycle.
Here's hoping that identifying moments like this, trying to understand the feelings, and put them into words will help me understand and manage my anxiety better in the future.